Anyone who is close to me knows that I am freakishly obsessed with Tony Ferguson, so read this article if you want to see me essentially jerk him off. He deserves to be jerked off though, especially once you learn a bit about his history, one that was filled with the purest form of bullshit. 

If I’m being perfectly honest, I didn’t even discover Tony Ferguson until 2017, sometime before the Kevin Lee fight. I’ve never been a guy who catches fighters on the rise. I can’t stand watching boring undercards with mediocre fighters. So I guess in a sense I was sort of a bandwagon fan, but then it morphed into an obsession.

Since finding Tony, I’ve probably watched God knows how many hours of YouTube footage of his interviews and press conferences. More disturbingly, I’ve also argued with countless Khabib fans in his Instagram comment section. And of course, like any adoring fan, I’ve professed my love for him numerous times in those same sections as well. 

So back to the bullshit. Tony had one of the greatest winning streaks in UFC history, having won 12 fights in a row. As you can see on the left, he didn’t just win fights. He brutalized his opponents, with his insanely violent elbows. I’ve seen video of him elbowing and kicking poles to sharpen his bones. Who does that? Tony Ferguson, that’s who. Anyways, it took him a 9 fight winning streak to get a title shot. The only fighter who has had to go on a streak like that to get a title shot is Leon Edwards (that I’m aware of). 

Then Tony wins the interim UFC lightweight belt in dominant fashion, and guess what happens? He gets injured tripping over a cord from a camera during UFC Media Day (cameras still had cords?!?!) and gets stripped of his belt when he was set to finally fight Khabib. God doesn’t work in mysterious ways, he works in fucked up ways. So then Tony comes back and wins his next two fights, he gets paired up against Justin Gaethje, a fighter who was a terrible matchup for Tony. Tony hits him with a perfect uppercut at the end of round 1 that stuns Justin, and before he gets the chance to pounce and end the fight, the bell rings. Then Justin proceeds to beat the living shit out of him. I remember watching this fight, and it was the most painful sporting event viewing experience of my life. Tony showed so much heart though, and the grit that his fans all knew he had. 

I kind of glossed over the fact that this cord tripping incident happened after Tony and Khabib had been matched up FOUR FREAKING TIMES. What I would give to see Tony and Khabib fight in their primes…

Like all men, women, and every living biological thing, Father Time spares none. When Tony lost to Justin, he was already old, and taking a beating like that would impact any fighter. Then Tony fought top tier contender after contender, only to continue his losing streak. I wanted him to hang it up after he lost to Charles Oliveira, but I kept believing there was a chance he could come back. He looked great in his second to last fight with Michael Chandler, only to receive one of the most devastating head kicks in UFC history. His last fight with Nate Diaz is where I completely gave up, as he finally looked like the old man he now is. 

Despite all of his recent losses and advancing age, my love for Tony has never waned. In my sick, twisted, egg-shaped head, I consider Tony part of my family. His motto, “Champ Shit Only” aka CSO is a code to live by, and his other quote I love “effort plus consistency equals confidence” are essential. His rants in press conferences and interviews can only come from a truly creative person. His creative words are only matched by his creative fighting style. Watching Tony fight is akin to watching a drunken samurai breakdancer, who will stop at nothing to either win, or die with honor. 

Usually when I get ripped off by someone, I get the urge to violate their souls with my Jewish penis. Tony was marketing these muscle scraping tools that were actually useful for recovery, but after I bought them, my brother pointed out you could buy cheap ones online instead. With the recommendation coming from Tony though, I didn’t care at all. He could plunder me for all of my loot, and I would tip my cap to him. If you think I’m weird, read more recent comments on Tony Ferguson related content, and you’ll see that I’m not alone in my love for him. Tony is loved by many of his fans, and it’s not your average fan love. There’s just something intangible about Tony that is perfect. I hope that you are able to experience that feeling if you ever check out some of his past fights and interviews, but it might also be something that you had to be there for. Tony Ferguson will always be a top 5 idol for me in this world, and if one day I get to shake his hand, I will thank him for his warrior spirit, and all of the entertaining monologues. Champ Shit Only, bitch.